you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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