Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
