office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
