the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
