dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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