if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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