there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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