Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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