Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
