He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
