At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
