Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
