Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
