Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
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I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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