I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize