The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
