whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
