If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
