i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
