new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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