I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
