Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
His hands were made for my vagina.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
