I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
