Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
