i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
