Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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