So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
