I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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