Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
