Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
