Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
