fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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