I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Screwed.edu
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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