I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
