His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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