my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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