I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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