Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My Higher Power is John Stamos
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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