yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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