I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
