it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
