No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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