glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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