i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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