Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
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