Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the day after is always just damage control
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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