At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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