i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
