I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
