I can tuck mytits in my pants
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
