No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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