Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
