oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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