Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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