whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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