Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You smell like stripper and shame
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She even gives head with a lisp.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
